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Kindness in words creates confidence.
Kindness in thinking creates profoundness.
Kindness in giving creates love.
Lao Tzu
BS. Computer Science Student at Baguio. Likes web designing, 3D modeling, photo
editing and stargazing...
Likes spending the night in front of his PC while sipping his hot mocha coffee.
Likes to be alone in his room so he can sing his songs, play his guitar and recite
his poems. Likes taking pictures while strolling around the city of pines alone.
Birthday - D-Day
.:. Favorites .:.
*Songs - Classical (strauss and sort), music by the Beatles, Coldplay
Mew, Travis, Sigur Ros, Oasis, Radiohead, Eraserheads, enya, Switchfoot
*Movies - K_Pax, Forrest Gump, Contact, My Sassy Girl, Far and Away, Disney
Movies, Sunshine, Monster House,Apocalypse Now, 3-Iron(Bin-Jip),Shrek movies
*Favorite Books(s):The Yin Yang of Programming, Bible, Quran, What the Buddha
Taught (Walpola Rahula) . Kiss of the Spiderwoman (a very gay book), Karaoke Song
Playlist, Beyond Good and Evil (Friedrich Nietzsche), Crime and Punishment (Fyodor
Dostoevsky), The Final Theory (Mark McCutcheon), God's Debris (Scott Adams), 40 Days
with the Poor (Frank Padilla), Piano for Dummies, Idiot's Guide for Dating, How to
draw a woman's body, Idiot's Guide for Verbal Self-Defense. Ilocano Survival Book,
Paolo Coelho Books. Harry Potter Books, Eve's Diary, Still have many books to
read...
*Favorite Pet(s):Dog and Cat lalo na
pagmagkasama sila
*Favorite Color: Blue and orange
*Favorite Quote/s: if p then q
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Thursday, October 20, 2005
A couple of minutes ago, i was there at the white tiled cubicle, sitting on the lone throne like a frog. Tssh, still in Baguio and the bowl was ice cold (remembered this frozen throne fanart of Warcraft3)..so couldnt sit like a king. Reminiscing to just about anything. A silly question, i asked "Was this situation inspired H.G Wells to write his Time Machine?".
Everytime i sit there, things that i often ignore always get my attention. I have a very low attention span and i couldnt spend a moment not doing something, unless im on my sleep. Only there that i took a time observing even the littlest dirt on my nails.
And it was a chain of flashbacks and daydreamings. One moment led to another. It seemed that everytime i entered that room, i was kind of being teleported to another dimension and time. I would always forget that someone was next on the queue and only zapped to reality if some knocked hard on the door.
I think everyone agrees, that most of the time being spent there was about having a deep communication with the self. It was not just a simple waste excretion but more of preparing ourselves for the next special acts of ours. A very simple yoga sit would prepare and cleanse our minds from the outside. (Not just our body). Next was the emptiness and plainness of the room would make us consider every little detail around us. Plus, there's no such activities that could be done there..., except sitting, observing, thinking, singing, dubbing, playing solitaire(huh?)(i stand corrected). I wonder what would happen if PS3 or Xbox would have a special place in our wash rooms. Would it still be the same for us to have those kinds of experiences.
It was very blissful pushing my stomach..yeah. and quite satisfying if u see the shit out of you completely in form and being slowly eroded. Based on my observation, the shape, form and content of your stool could tell how you currently manage your life (i think it has some kind of aura). I could tell how busy the guy was, how was he/she doing her/his studies. I could also tell the state of the mind, and further, prophesize things that he/she could do the next minutes or even the next day(Oow). Hmmp, actually it was just my less complicated extension of my friend Tobit's research. His observation was rather complex than mine. By the smell of someone's fart, he could tell what i also could tell. He has these classifications of fart as, "utot ng puyat", "utot ng galit", "mapagtampong utot", etc....It was funny, but he could precisely predict them. I wonder if he could also classify them by location. Sample is "utot ng taga Baguio", or "utot ng Marsian"...or even the motive of someone, like, "utot ng terorista".. It would be a great help for mankind... His observation was quite explainable coz the smell of someone's fart states his way of eating and working... Example, late sleepers... most of them sleeps at around 1 could have this accumulation of air because of digestion added by the cold surrounding. The steady state of being at a fixed location (with less movement, like what im doing in the front of the PC) wouldnt alter the part being processed in the stomach, resulting in an imbalance or not well digested food. Like, if you seldom stir the banana in the Dinagtu or (ano bgang tawag sa iba.. yung pagbabayo ng saging o kamote o bigas), some part of it wouldnt be crushed well...resulting into a mixture of elements with different masses. Remember that an oil would float on the water. And the symbolism ,tssk, was kind of that...
Actually, all of these came to me while in there, in the thinking bowl. Sh.. forgot to flush the...heck.
penned my thoughts
at [8:26 PM]
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Sarcastic smiles and fake hellos penned my thoughts
at [12:20 AM]
Sunday, October 02, 2005
penned my thoughts
at [12:41 AM]
Saturday, October 01, 2005
The last alcohol i drank was on my class on STS at UP Diliman last summer class. I emptied a red horse beer i bought at philcoa before entering the class of 170 students. I wasnt really feeling good that day, i mean emotionally.. 4 months 2nd sem on my third year, drinking became a way to escape such drags and "melancholy"( now i can use it). I wasnt even active in YA that sem and all i wanted was to be alone and listen to the songs of sugarfree and radiohead..or .anything that would make the feeling hurt more. There was no news about friends and all i did was to gather some of my few closer friends and that was the time we made a couple of songs and videos. I kept myself busier, academically... and i read a lot of books about life, ironically, all of them just made me feel more empty... i know, my words are vague...so just bare with me... penned my thoughts
at [1:23 PM]
We try to hide but always
Leave an open door behind
To escape from reality
It felt so sure but we said no
We’re throwing lies at someone
We don’t know, we don’t know
From this reality
Why can’t we risk our lives
For something that we can’t deny
We try to run from something
We don’t know, we don’t know
Is this reality?
Why are you crying?
I feel so sorry
I feel so sorry
For me…
sa aking kwarto na puno ng galit at damit
Maglilinis ako ng aking kwarto
Na punong-puno ng galit at damit
Mga bagay na hindi ko na kailangan
Nakaraang hindi na pwedeng pagpaliban
Oohh... Oohh...
Mga liham ng nilihim kong pag-ibig
At litrato ng kahapong maligalig
Dahan-dahan kong inipon
Ngunit ngayo'y kailangan nang itapon
CHORUS
Di ko na kayang mabuhay sa kahapon
Kaya mula ngayon, mula ngayon
May jacket mong nabubulok sa sulok
Na inaalikabok na sa lungkot
May panyong ilang ulit nang niluhaan
Isang patak sa bawat beses na tayo'y nasaktan
REPEAT CHORUS
Mula ngayon
Ala-ala ng lumuluhang kahapon
Dahan-dahan ko na ring kinakahon
Natagpuan ko na ang tunay kong ligaya
Lumabas ako ng kwarto't naroon siya
Magpapaalam na sa 'yo ang aking kwarto (4x)
Magpapaalam na sa 'yo(3x)
Magpapaalam na sa 'yo ang aking kwarto
i wasnt even aware of anything those times... but when the sem ended, i was surprised to get lots of 1 grade, the highest among my GWA grades...
No, its not of being bitter, i just used those to make myself more of a poetic person, and most of my works are based on feelings of being alone. Im a person that cant write professionally, but if the feeling got me, i can compose a number of songs and poems without using any references..
those times, i wasnt aware of the 100% program of YA and 1 that captured my attention was the 0% alcohol thing... Obviously, i was strucked... i just wanted a normal life with no such commitments, and i believed that it wouldnt hurt so much... The world turned out unexpectedly... As today, with such burden still with me, im trying the best i can to promote clean fun. I once attented to my other orgs "initiation" night,... the night's main focus was drinking the emper mixed with the juice.. I dont know exactly the recipe because i tried my best to reject the offers. After almost 2 hours of everyone drinking from the mix filled container... The house was at rage...... lots of crying and revelations and it was messy on the floor... some kept on calming the others...i couldnt sleep because i didnt think that it was safe for them to be left just roaming around. the venue was a 4 floor apartmnent and the stairs were very steep...
i realized that not everyone was a calm drinker as me.
Maybe,the only thing the program wanted to pursue is to promote a different kind of socialiation..not the usual make yourself tired by drinking and talking then sleep way... but more on knowing each other wide awake and not while on the blissful planet of Mike (who is mike, I don’t know either..just couldnt think of a better expression.. just ignore it anyway),...as more "socializations" that i attended, and insisted myself not to drink, the more i realized how more comfortable to be with others not taking any responsibilty or sort and how calm to converse with a person that talks clearly...
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