BuhayTao

.:. Profile .:.

BS. Computer Science Student at Baguio. Likes web designing, 3D modeling, photo editing and stargazing... Likes spending the night in front of his PC while sipping his hot mocha coffee. Likes to be alone in his room so he can sing his songs, play his guitar and recite his poems. Likes taking pictures while strolling around the city of pines alone.
Birthday - D-Day

.:. Favorites .:.
*Songs - Classical (strauss and sort), music by the Beatles, Coldplay
Mew, Travis, Sigur Ros, Oasis, Radiohead, Eraserheads, enya, Switchfoot

*Movies - K_Pax, Forrest Gump, Contact, My Sassy Girl, Far and Away, Disney Movies, Sunshine, Monster House,Apocalypse Now, 3-Iron(Bin-Jip),Shrek movies
*Favorite Books(s):The Yin Yang of Programming, Bible, Quran, What the Buddha Taught (Walpola Rahula) . Kiss of the Spiderwoman (a very gay book), Karaoke Song Playlist, Beyond Good and Evil (Friedrich Nietzsche), Crime and Punishment (Fyodor Dostoevsky), The Final Theory (Mark McCutcheon), God's Debris (Scott Adams), 40 Days with the Poor (Frank Padilla), Piano for Dummies, Idiot's Guide for Dating, How to draw a woman's body, Idiot's Guide for Verbal Self-Defense. Ilocano Survival Book, Paolo Coelho Books. Harry Potter Books, Eve's Diary, Still have many books to read...
*Favorite Pet(s):Dog and Cat lalo na pagmagkasama sila
*Favorite Color: Blue and orange
*Favorite Quote/s: if p then q

Posts Archive

Monday, September 26, 2005

.:. A very Long Engagement with Peter .:.

I've been spending most of my time on all of my responsibilities these
past few months. Services, services, services... too much work really
makes a person dumb enough to not realize that he is dumb... and that's good... The last few
weeks of the sem will surely be busy.

At this very YOUNG age, i really feel engaged to something, though im not
engaged to anyone since... This something or rather these things are
always holding me back to reality... According to this hindu guru's book
i read while spending my time waiting for nothing on Book Sale Store, on
the top floor of SM... as life becomes so convenient for others, it so
ironic that it adds another complications.. Just like the movie "Gods must
be Crazy" talkin about.

After a very long time, i spent this afternoon doing my favorite past time
last sem.. ...i walked alone, strolled around... pretending to be
shopping, keep asking the sales lady the price and the specs, wasting my
time for just thinking that i could buy them. but it felt good to go home
tired of dreaming the RPG like stroll. i think i have to spend another
years to have another updated PC. This time, aim at the Mobile Notebook.
Kaso medyo malabo na.... Im tired of collecting files that keep on
losing...I lost one partirion on my hardisk which mainly contained my mp3 collections since i was 1st year. Next target is to buy my own high end digital camera.

Since my brother bought his digital camera, im always experimenting ways
on how to use it... considering that it's also a videocam... i used it to
make my very own music video..he hehe. I got my very first camera when i
was still 8, and the next day, i went on my own visiting any interesting
places... i went to the beach, rode a boat to ermita hill...
last year, while tobit was on the sm department store, i turned on the cam
and told him that we would make a "scandal" movie there that would surely
be a hit. .. we just used the word because of sudden appearances of those
movies.... After editing the clips and embedding the "People Alone"
soundtrack,.. i insisted to distribute it so if we would continue our
band, it would be easier for us to be known... though he didn’t agree with
me, if someone wanted to copy MP3 from me, I also included it with some of
our amateur recordings... just as what i expected, our songs, and especially
the video got the attention of few cool people. When tobit's brother
watched it, they said they keep on laughing at it. Because of my
unprepared plot and tobit's unexpected actions, the video became a laughing
material. The movie shows Tobit filling the largest cart with groceries and ended
buying only 2 noodles that we shared that night. The "People alone" music
also added the feeling of loneliness (while laughing). People there were
looking at us thinking that we were making a series for some teenage
saturday afternoon show. I remember that we just went to SM to spend
sometime having fun while we were supposedly crying because we already
emptied our wallets. That always happens to us and realizing that we have
no more supplies means walking home and praying for a hundred to fall from
the sky. One time, when i didn’t have money for the jeep, i walked from SM
and treaded the dark, holdup zone way to my ex-Home at cabinet hill.
Fearing of seeing something, i walked looking down and unexpectedly, i
stepped on 2 P500 cash. Sometimes, if you really need something, it will
just appear coincidentally, or just because u are then opening ur senses
for it.

Lots of stories... I like adventure stories that are constantly replaced
by adult version of adventure. As time passes, the world is limiting itself for kids. Kids are used for commercial purposes and already stealing from them the youth that they should have. I once watched this online video of a little girl setting up a man of disposing a dead body. Cant believe that a very young age (about 6 or 7), she already knows how to say words like “fuck up”, “bitch” even if it’s still a movie. What i want as a kid, to consider the world as just a game (like the HXH Greed Island) that there's no need to limit the realities' capabilities...but still following the rule for goodness.

Now i know…, im engaged to my kid like attitude and philosophy. That's why
i cant move on. im not capabable of growing up anymore. I cant follow the
trend of finding someone, living with someone and LOSING someone. When I finished highschool, I taught that I would be soon mature enough to face what I have to face, but unfortunately, im still at fear of moving on. When I was entering my teenage years, I almost commited suicide believing that I should go to heaven as a kid and not an adult. Im aging and still young but I feel very old already especially now that many consider me as Kuya.

Had Peter forgotten to ask me that’s why I cant decipher the lessons to adulthood. Or im just staying on my own Neverland coz of fear, of uncapability to be like what the time should making me.

To be continued

penned my thoughts at [11:05 PM]

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